Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Oh Fooey

Since my last post my mental health has been in a real crummy state. I've been rapidly losing motivation and experiencing apathy towards far too many normal parts of life - from paying bills to putting away laundry. My wife says that its because I'm not transitioning and I'm depressed. I told her that, while that is possible, that doesn't seem internally to be the issue.

Last night I spent some time alone, unwinding, and listening to music. I got plenty of sleep and I feel much better this morning. I am hoping that I am out of my funk and that I can get back to the serious work of living happily. One thing I still need to do is get into a regular exercise routine and clean up my poor diet.  Just to give you a sense of the carnage - I ate pizza, hot dogs, cookies, and two bowls of ice cream yesterday. That's no way to get super hot - especially since I didn't work out.

I'm not sure that I'm ready to turn it into over drive yet, but I'm hoping that I can refocus my mind and start to get on track, if only slowly. Maybe I will actually work out today or tomorrow, even if I still eat like a 400 pound man.


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Excercise, At Last

I haven't followed my own good advice about diet and exercise since I posted it, but I am proud to report that today I finally got around to consciously exercising. It wasn't much - just 20 minutes of total body workout to an exercise video, but I did it and I got sweaty. In fact, my sweaty arm is sticking to the computer desk as I type this post. I can feel a sense of accomplishment at having exercised today, but I need to do it again tomorrow to keep this positive feeling. Building a little everyday toward my dream physical and emotional state is my ultimate purpose here.

On an unrelated note, Oprah had a great show on yesterday about the show Modern Family on ABC, which also featured a transsexual woman named Christina and her wife. Christina was a wonderful t-girl role model. She realized about 30 that she wanted to be a girl, so she set about transforming her thoroughly masculine life completely. The results were quite stunning; she is really a very beautiful and passable woman. More interestingly to me, though, she found a beautiful female partner and they had twins, using Christina's stored sperm. Christiana even breast feed the babies, after following a specialized regime of hormones. She said that she felt she had almost been too lucky, getting everything she wanted in life. That kind of story can really make a tgirl jealous!

Well, hopefully I can report more good health news in my next post. Until then, cheers!


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Zooey Happy

My diet has not exactly been going well, but that's a story for another post. Today, I would like to focus on my inspiration in this world - Zooey DeSchannel. I just think she is wonderful and aspire to be like her. She's talented and beautiful and so fun loving and happy. She appears on this month's cover of Self Magazine, as pictured below.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

My Assessment of Me

I think that brutal honesty is absolutely necessary on my journey to looking and feeling more like the girl I want to be. That said, this post will be about assessing where I am right now in my transition from male to female.

First, the ugly truth: I weigh 229 lbs and have a 43 inch waist. I'm a size 16/XL/38B.Yeah, I said it. I am only 5 ft. 8 inches tall, so if I can slim down, I have a reasonable chance of passing as a woman. Other things working in my favor: my voice is not particularly deep and my hands are not particularly large. My feet are another story, but we'll leave them out of this.

My make-up skills are sub-par, though I've come a long way from where I used to be. I have a complete make-up selection, but I'm just not particularly skilled at putting it on for maximum effect. YouTube does seem to be chalk full of advice on the topic and I can always turn to one of my female friends for advice when I need it.

My female friends - there are a few who know about my t-girl status. Coley is my bestest, but she is out of state right now. Melly is a good friend too, but she's occupied with her boy right now and I can't deluge her with requests for make-up support. I have one other good friend, Joy, but she's so pissed at me for being a non-op when I really want to be a post-op, that she and I aren't on speaking terms right now.

I have taken hormones for about 2.5-3 months in my life at this point, always off and on and with gaps in between. That's given me a good deal of breast tissue to work with, which does flatter my shape when I'm dressed. I need to work on creating cleavage though - I see from YouTube that other tgirls have come up with some ingenious ways to do it.

Where do I want to be? Glad you asked. I'd like to be a size 6 and weigh 139 lbs or less. That's a big goal, but its the truth. My waist should be under 30 inches, ideally, though I haven't been there since I was a little boy. That's ok; I have a plan. My plan is to follow the good health advice I've been gathering and ignore for a long time. Here's what I am going start doing now:

  • Keep track of my calories each day; Eat no more than 2300 calories a day
  • Weigh myself and measure my waist once a week and write down the results in this blog
  • Drink more water and get 8 hours of sleep each night - no more being a serious late owl
  • Exercise at least 30 minutes 5 days a week. Mix it up. Cardio but also core training work.
  • Stop drinking pop and eating fast food - its terrible for me and I overcomsume it regularly
That's it. I'm pretty sure that if I follow these rules (in moderation - all things in moderation), then I should shed some pounds and start to take on a sexier shape. Words of encouragement and advice are always welcome, so feel free to comment on this post or email me at anytime.

Wish me luck!


Friday, June 17, 2011

Welcome to My New Blog

Greetings and salutations! My name is Kate and this is my new blog. Thanks for stopping in. I'm so glad you decided to join my on me journey to looking and feeling good.

A little bit about myself - I'm a 29 year old non-op transsexual from Michigan who is married to a loving woman. We have a beautiful daughter and have another child on the way.

Why non-op? Well, my wife fell in love with me while I was a boy and she's really not into me transitioning full time - and I don't want to lose her. So, until I can convince her that she should stick it out, hormones and surgery and all, I'm living part time and in stealth.

That's ok, though, because living part time and in stealth gives me the chance to perfect my technique. That's where this blog comes in. It will chronicle my efforts to slim down, get stylish, and generally become the hottie I want to become, in the event that I ever take the full out t-girl plunge down the road.

I welcome your comments and feedback, including tips and suggestions, as we go along. Until then, sit back and enjoy the blog!